This Love is Forever
by greys.endoftheworld
Summary: One thing Ben Warren is committed to is his woman, Miranda Bailey. This is a recount of their engagement and the beginning of their marriage through his eyes. This story was requested and I hope you all enjoy it and have a great new year! Author's Note: I am working on RDB, diligently. I shall update that story as soon as I can. As well as other one-shots, requested and otherwise.
1. That's What I Like

**That's What I Like**

Ben Warren had just gotten off of the plane from sunny California and landed in rainy Seattle. After running some errands, he was finally about to find his fiancée, Miranda Bailey. A few months ago, they'd both been doctors at Seattle Grace-Mercy West hospital. He'd been an anesthesiologist and she was an attending physician. Since meeting at the hospital, t7he two of them met, fell in love, had broken up, gotten back together, moved into together and eventually gotten engaged. She was the love of his life. He had no doubts about it when he had decided to propose. The only thing he was worried about was if Miranda was going to accept or not. Ben truly wanted her to say yes, but the woman did whatever she wanted. She was so headstrong and that was one of the reasons that he'd fallen in love with her. That was why he had to do it—Ben Warren had to spend the rest of his life with Miranda Bailey. Immediately after their engagement, he had taken an offer to become a surgical resident at UCLA. Ben had applied not thinking that he would get in, but by the grace of God, he had gotten that letter. Of course, he wanted to go, but he didn't want to leave his future wife and his future stepson, Tuck, to continue their lives without him being there. Miranda had told him to go. At first, it hurt. He'd thought: _Maybe she doesn't really want me or to be married to me._ But the thought was ridiculous. She did want him very much. She also wanted him to be happy. So he'd left, packed up as much as he could fit into his car and took the 14-hour drive to California. There, he had found new friends, a new apartment. And there were days when it didn't hurt to think about everything that he was missing out on back home. Those were the good days. Then there were those that made him want to take the first flight that he could find to Seattle. Yesterday was one of those days. He missed her heavily. When he awoke that morning, he honestly expected to be able to roll over and hug her body the way that he always did, but she wasn't there. So he took a day off and hopped on a plane. As he walked through the hallways of Seattle Grace-Mercy West, he spoke to a few of his former colleagues and asked around about Miranda. Someone pointed Ben in the right direction. He walked slowly up to the room. The door was open and he could hear her voice. That's what he had wanted to hear the previous morning. "How often should her calcium levels be monitored?" He grinned widely and peeked into the room trying not to be seen. One of the interns that she was teaching answered correctly. "And what's the primary cause of hypocalcemia after parathyroid surgery?" His brain responded silently. He waited for one of the interns to answer the question. They were quiet. "Really?" Miranda asked. He could hear her interns' silence. He could feel his fiancée's frustration through the walls. "Are you telling me not one of you knows the—"

Ben couldn't hold back any longer. "Hungry bone syndrome," he said appearing in the doorway. Hearing his voice, Miranda picked her head up and stared at him. He matched her gaze. "Where calcium and phosphorous are rapidly deposited into the bone."

"You're not supposed to be here," Miranda said with a sly smile on her face.

"Got a last-minute flight," he answered without breaking eye contact with her. He'd missed her so much. "Couldn't pass it up."

"You aren't on call tonight?" She asked, pretending to care.

He shrugged, "Not anymore. I switched shifts." He smiled at her, his mind already twenty minutes in the future where they'd be making love and she'd be trying not to scream too loudly. Her smile equaled his. She was there, too.

"Thank you for that, uh, answer, Dr. Warren," she said speaking to the room full of interns without taking her eyes off of Ben. "You all make sure you write that one down." She finished with them and met him outside of the door. She took his hand and pulled him down the hallway. "What's your turnaround this time?"

"Twelve hours," he told her while squeezing her hand. They stopped at the first on-call room they could find. "And I plan to make use of every single one." Ben pushed her against the wall and kissed her quickly and sloppily. Someone shouted that the room was occupied.

As they searched for another one, she said: "I'm so happy you're here."

"I am, too," he responded while gripping her hip. He felt the vibration of her beeper in her pocket. "You're being paged." They stopped walking and she made a face before checking it.

"I have to…"

He nodded. "I know."

"I'm off in like two hours. Can you take my car and pick up Tuck?" Ben nodded. "And take him to Tucker's? Then come back to get me?" She turned to him and put her arms on his shoulders.

"Okay."

She stood on her toes and kissed him deeply. "Okay."

They were few things that Ben liked more than hanging out with Tuck, Miranda's son from her previous marriage. If anyone asked him, he'd tell them that he was so ready to become the boy's stepfather. Despite the fact that Ben was considerably older, they had a lot in common. He drove to the second grader's school. The boy was escorted to the office. When he saw Ben, he ran to him, hugging him. "Ben! Hi, Ben!"

"Hi, buddy," Ben said holding the boy and lifting him up a little. When he put him down, Ben noticed that he seemed to have gotten taller in the last three weeks.

Getting to the car, the seven-year-old buckled himself in. "I missed you," Tuck said and Ben smiled. "Where is mommy?"

"At work. I'm taking you to your dad's house."

"I'm going to daddy's house?" Tuck asked, his voice high-pitched and soothing. Ben nodded. "And… you're not staying?" The question struck Ben unexpectedly. He didn't want to go, but he had to. He thought of words to explain this. The boy beat him to it: "I know you have to leave."

"Yeah?" It was Tuck's turn to nod. "I leave tomorrow. But I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay." Tuck fell asleep as Ben drove to Tucker's place. He pulled Tuck out of the car. He was probably faking, but Ben missed carrying him. He rang the doorbell.

"Who is it?" Tucker called out.

"Ben and Tuck," Ben answered, shifting the boy from one side to the other.

"It's open." Ben turned the door handle and walked inside. "Ben. Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Just got little man here."

"Ahh, he's sleep?"

"Yeah, man. Knocked out a couple of blocks from the school." The two men laughed. Tucker reached for his son and ran him up the stairs while Ben waited.

"Thanks, man." Ben said that it wasn't a problem. And it wasn't. There had been times… before… when Ben dropping Tuck off bothered Tucker. Or if Ben was at the house when he came to pick up his son, Tucker would have a fit. But now, he knew it was real. Miranda had allowed him to be in Tuck's life and he wasn't going anywhere; he was permanent. "So are you in for a few days or…?"

"Naw, just for like twelve hours," he answered checking his watch.

"Okay, well, don't waste them all on me," Tucker laughed.

"We wouldn't want that."

"No, sir." They shook hands and Ben left. He headed back to the hospital. Instead of asking around for Miranda again, he went straight to her office. He knocked on the door.

"A closed door means a busy surgeon," she said.

"Miranda." Saying her name was like a magical spell. She'd admitted to him one time after coming down from a sexual high that she loved the way he said it, pronouncing it carefully with each syllable softening her just a little.

She opened the door and he slid inside. "Where is my child?" She asked as she sat at her desk and clicked something on the computer.

"At Tucker's, safe and sound." She nodded. "Ready to go?"

"Not hardly." The attending stood up and walked toward him. He squinted. Ben touched the band of her scrubs and slipped his hand into them. She moaned as he touched her warm skin. She pulled away. "No. No. No. No. No."

"What? What? What, baby? What?" Ben groaned. He dropped his head onto her shoulder. She laughed. "I want you. I need you."

"Then take me home," she said.


	2. Cater 2 U

**Cater 2 U**

At the house, Miranda and Ben cuddled together and watched a movie. "I'm really trying to be patient, but, baby, I leave in a couple of hours."

"And?" She said pulling off her shirt. She avoided his gaze with a raised eyebrow.

Ben sputtered. "And I…" When she revealed her bra, his body reacted. He scanned her skin with his fingertips.

"And?" She repeated. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Ben climbed on top of his fiancée and looked down at her, admiring her body. "You were saying?"

"I was thinking about how much I want you and how much I've missed you." He stroked her hair and pushed down her shorts. His followed and he slid into her. Her body melted instantly. She'd missed him, too. Ben pulled her into him. Before he moved to California, he and Miranda had sex almost every day. He'd gotten so used to the smell of her body that when he got a whiff of her scent, he almost climaxed right then and there. As they moved together, Ben tried to make memories for when he was alone in California and needed some… _motivation_. Miranda sunk her nails into his back scratching him. She did that when she was feeling territorial. He bit her skin softly, turning a little spot beneath her collarbone red. He could be just as possessive. She moaned. "You can say that again." Ben held onto her butt and flipped them over.

She ground on top of him. "I love when you do that." Her breasts fell in his face and he sucked on them making her scream: "AHHH! AHHHHH! OOHHHH!"

"Mmmmhmmm. Yes, baby," he whispered in her ear. She sped up, bouncing on top of him. He lifted his hips off of the bed.

"Shit, Ben!" She said. He groaned loudly as he orgasmed first, not able to hold back any longer. His fiancée screamed at the top of her lungs, coming a minute later. He felt her squeeze her body on his and he moaned. She rolled off of him and fell on the bed. "God! Have I said that I have missed you?"

"Missed me? Or missed us?" He asked looking down his body.

"You're nasty."

He hugged her and kissed her head. "I know." After making love a few times, trying to make up for the weeks of celibacy, they lay in bed, exhausted. Ben and Miranda talked for a long while, even dozing off for a few minutes mid-conversation. "You see how big Tuck is getting?" Ben asked.

"Do I?" Miranda chuckled. "I can barely pick him up anymore." He joined in with her laughter. "He asks about you all of the time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They were quiet. "And what about you?"

"I… well," she laughed nervously. "You know me." Ben did know her. She would say that she was fine because she didn't want to "ruin" the short amount of time that he had. "I'm good. Working, taking care of Tuck, the usual." Ben opened his mouth to ask her to elaborate, but he didn't. It was selfish of him, but they only had a couple of more hours together and all he wanted to do was hold her. In Cali, he watched boring movies every night because it numbed his brain and put him to sleep faster; the films almost stopped him from thinking about his little family. "We're fine."

Ben ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too."

Ben had an early flight and didn't want to wake Miranda. He knew she'd be mad, but he also knew that if she sat up and he caught a glimpse of her naked chest, he'd hop back into the bed and start the lovemaking process once again. He wrote her a long note and left it under her phone. He caught a cab to the airport and was gone.


	3. Long Way From Home

**Long Way From Home**

In Cali, Ben lived down the hall from another surgical resident from UCLA, Jonah, from Portland, Oregon. He had been commuting for a year. As they walked to the cafeteria on a rare break, the two men talked: "The hardest thing about being so close, but so far away is staying present when at work," Jonah said.

"And the going back and forth thing, right?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, but that got easier."

"When? A couple of weeks? Months?"

Jonah made a face. "Recently."

"Ahh, shit, man!" Ben laughed. Throughout lunch, Ben tried listening to the conversation going on around him, but all he could really think about was that it took a year to get used to something that he wasn't sure he wanted to get used to. Would he even last that long with the distance? He shook those thoughts from his head. "Damn, what shows don't y'all watch?" He asked jumping back into the table discussion.


	4. I Waited For You

**I Waited For You**

Ben opened the door to his apartment and cursed loudly. He'd been cursing since he'd gotten into his car. He had to tell Miranda that he wouldn't be able to come home and that wasn't something he liked to do. Missing this weekend would make the first full month since he'd decided to become an intern that he wouldn't be seeing her beautiful face. He growled as he clicked her number into his phone. As it rang, he tried to come up with a script to tell her the bad news. "Hello?" She said picking up the call. He tried to wipe the smile off of his face, but hearing her voice turned him into putty. "Hello? Ben?"

"Yeah, baby?" He said answering her.

She chuckled. "You called me."

"Oh, right." She asked him what was up. "Nothing. Can't I check on my fiancée?"

"Of course, honey. Thank you. How are you?" He hemmed and hawed. "Okay, out with it."

"What?

"Just tell me. Whatever it is."

He exhaled noisily. "I won't be able to come home this weekend."

"But you sent me your schedule."

"I… I know."

"And this weekend is Richard's anniversary… thing."

"I remember, babe."

"And Tuck has a soccer game. You promised him." She was so right. He had promised even though she'd warned him not to promise Tuck anything. He had been so sure that he was going to make it back to Seattle for his soccer game. But he'd promised and now—"And he's going to be so disappointed. And, sweetheart, I'll be disappointed, too. It's been a month and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love… you know, phone sex, but ain't nothing like the real thing." He muted her quickly and growled. "I want you to come home, Ben."

"Miranda, I know, okay!" He took a deep breath. "I mean… wait, I'm sorry. I know, sweetheart, I'm disappointed, too. But they just shook up the schedule and there's nothing I can do. I've tried switching, but no can take it on such short notice, so I'm stuck." They were silent for a long time. Ben didn't hear anything on her end and thought she'd disconnected the call. He looked at the phone and saw the time still ascending. "Miranda…"

"Yes, Benjamin?" She said with a sigh of her own.

"Miranda."

"What?" He sighed. "It's just that I've been waiting for you. And Tuck's been waiting. And…"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't really want to hear that right now, babe."

" _Sweetheart_ ," he sang softly

"No, 'sweetheart'."

"I'm sorry, Miranda. I really am."

"It's…." She sighed. Ben did the same. He really was. He hated not being there. "Don't be. It's not your fault." He shook his head. "It's not like you didn't want to be here."

"Exactly." _Silence._ "I miss you, woman."

"I miss you, too, baby." The sadness in her voice gave him a different kind of chill.


	5. You, Always

**You, Always**

When he got home in the wee hours of the morning, he was tempted to call Miranda. Their wedding was in two weeks. And to say he was excited was an understatement. Being married to her was the only thing on his mind. The day before the wedding, he went back home. He sent a message to Miranda to see where she was. When she said she was at home, Ben took a cab there and let himself in. He found his future wife sitting in their living room on the longest sofa. "Is that you, sweetie?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Yes, it's me, baby." Miranda turned back around. "Is that all I get?" He put his hand to his chest and walked toward her. She continued to watch her show. He smiled. He knew this game. Ben sat next to her, putting her feet on his lap. He started to rub them and she closed her eyes. "Is that all I get?"

"I don't want to get too happy about you being here," she said.

"Well, woman, you might as well do it because we're getting married tomorrow." Miranda grinned and then groaned as he dug his fingers deeper into her foot.

"We are getting married," she smiled. "You're a lucky man."

He leaned in to kiss her for the first time in a long time. Sometimes all he wanted was to hold her. He moved closer to her and put his arms around her waist, pulling her in. He sighed. "I am very lucky."

"You fellas have to pick up your tuxes." Ben nodded. "And I need to find some damn bridesmaids."

Ben laughed loudly. "Just ask Torres and Grey and… and, uh, Robbins." He shrugged. That's how he got three groomsmen. Well, his brother was a no-brainer, but he'd asked his best male friend, Justin Knox and his cousin from Chicago, Andre. "Or I can drop my groomsmen and it could you, me and Tuck up there."

Miranda twisted her lips to the side. He loved when she did that. "Maybe."

"So everything else is all set up?"

"Yep. The planner is doing all that other stuff—decorating, guest reminders, reception…"

"Good. Especially since we're paying her handsomely."

Miranda rubbed his head, easing him into a deep comfort. "You're hungry?"

"I could eat."

"What are you in the mood for?" He looked up her with a grin on his face. "Unh-uh!" She hit his arm playfully and got off of the chair, leaving him there.

"Where is Tuck?"

"At the hotel with my family"

"Got it." While they were in the kitchen, Ben made another memory of seeing Miranda by the stove making him a sandwich. Not that she had to, but because she wanted to. He touched her waist and kissed her neck. "You want to go over there now?"

She shook her head while slicing his egg sandwich in half. "We'll go and check in later."

"Okay. I just need this beautiful and delectable sandwich, a shower and a nap and I will be ready to go." Miranda sat opposite him. They chuckled and talked some more. He was amazed that they never ran out of things to say. "I'm so nervous," he said while eating his food.

"I hope it's a good nervous."

"It is. I'm not worried or anything. Just anxious. I can't wait to call you my wife." She smiled. There used to be a time when he wouldn't admit anything emotional to the woman he was with, but Miranda had insisted that she wanted all of him. He trusted her. She was his best friend.

"Me, too. I get butterflies every time I think about the ceremony and jumping the broom and saying 'I do'."

"And continuing this love forever."

"Yeah, forever," she said wistfully. Ben inhaled. He knew she was doing all of this for the second time and was a little apprehensive about pledging her love and giving her whole heart again. But he was here to stay. He loved her, he feared, more than he loved himself sometimes. "Which is a really long time," Miranda added.

"I know. I know. But it'll be good." Ben winked at her making her grin. "So you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with me?" She shook her head. "Even though we're technically married?"

"Yeah, even though." Ben reached across the table and Miranda grabbed his hand. They were quiet for a while—the kind of quiet where there was no more to be said at the moment, so you didn't waste energy trying to be poetic or deep. "Do you want a drink?

"Water please?" She slipped her hand from his and grabbed a bottle of water from their pantry. She held it out for him. He shook his head with a small smile on his face. He took it and then pulled her down onto his lap. Her legs straddled him. "Do you want to get in the shower with me?"

"Yes, I do, but I'm not going to."

He groaned. It had been two months since the last time they had sex. His sex life mostly consisted of phone sex and masturbating several times a day. He didn't know how she was doing it, but they'd decided to hold out until after the wedding. However, he just wanted to pick her up, put her on the table and have his way. He kissed her lips deeply. "Do you love me?"

"Of course, Ben." She grabbed his head and he kissed her chest. "Do you love me?"

"Miranda, I am so in love with you."

"Good. And you promise to tell me everything?"

Ben had to smile. "I will tell you everything that you need to know." They laughed again. Ben stopped just before she did to hear her laugh. It was one of his favorite sounds. "Do you promise to confide in me and not wait until it builds up and you implode?"

She rolled her eyes and got off of his lap. "Yes."

"Wow, that was convincing," he said smirking. Ben headed to the kitchen door and called over his shoulder: "There's still time for you to join me, Dr. Bailey."

His fiancée stood up and put the dishes in the sink. "Go shower, Dr. Warren."


	6. Water Break (Interlude)

**Water Break (Interlude)**

"I don't know why more people don't get married," Ben told Miranda as they lay in bed. The day had been long and exhausting and beautiful and worth every argument and every dollar.

"Ha!" His wife said. "I guess a lifetime commitment isn't everyone's cup of tea."

He nodded slowly. "But, look, we gave people a place to be for few hours, fed them and in return, we got some amazing gifts and loads of money."

"Yeah, a lot of that load came from my godfather." She put her hand on his thigh and his piece jumped eagerly.

"I know. I know. And can you tell him to stop staring at me like he wants to kill me?" Miranda's godfather, Brian, always made sure that Ben knew that he was watching.

"You know he's just looking out for me. He feels bad about not keeping his eye on Tucker and having Tucker 'break my heart'," she said using air quotes. "He doesn't want it to happen again."

"Well, I wouldn't do that to you. My job is to make you happy and to be a great stepfather to Tuck." He watched her blush. He loved making her blush, but he wasn't just talking out of his ass. He meant it. Miranda made him so happy, so he only wanted to do the same for her. That was what he vowed to do today, be there for her no matter what. "Do I get any credit for helping to mend that heart?" He kissed her cheek.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Miranda put her lips on his chin, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just call off your godfather," Ben laughed.


	7. Color

**Color**

Before he left for the night, Ben stood in front of the OR board. He searched the large chart for his name. _Surgeon_ _ **:**_ _Ben Warren._ He'd won the first solo surgery of his intern class. Technically, it wasn't _solo_ solo, but he was the one they'd chosen. He was a star. Everyone knew it. He called Miranda as soon as he got to his apartment door. "Miranda!" He exclaimed before she could even say "hello".

"Yes! What, baby? Hi!" Her excitement matched his and she had no idea why.

"Guess what your husband is doing this weekend?" He reached into his fridge and got a beer.

"Hmm," she started. "I don't know what my husband is doing, but I know that I want him to come home and tear off these red panties that I'm wearing."

Ben froze for a second. "Is that right? Red, huh?" He imagined her biting her bottom lip and nodding. "Are you at home?" He took a sip of the foamy beer and chased it with another one.

"Of course, Benjamin! Does that sound like the sort of thing I'd say at my place of work?" He opened his mouth and then closed it. "So what is my husband doing this weekend?"

"Wait a damn second, back to these panties," he told her bringing up a memory. He knew exactly the pair she was talking about and it was making him hard. He headed to his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt. Ben lay on his back. "Red, you say?"

"And lacy."

"I remember."

Miranda lowered her voice. "So you remember the matching bra?"

He lowered his as well. "Yes, ma'am. I'm hoping that there's nothing else on your body."

"Ben!"

"Baby, what?"

"Your news?"

"Your panties eclipse my news," he laughed.

"Shut up." They continued to laugh. They had such good chemistry. He knew it was a blessing to find someone who he could play with and tease; someone who motivated and encouraged him like she did. "What's your news, sweetheart?"

"Your man is the first in his intern class to get awarded a solo surgery."

"You're kidding!"

Ben shook his head as if Miranda could see him. "Nope. It's this weekend."

"Ahhh, man. So you're really not coming?"

"I wish I could, but I cannot miss this."

"Of course not."

"I hope you didn't have any plans."

"No, no, no."

"Miranda Bailey-Warren," Ben said. "Spill."

"I switched weekends with Tucker so that we could have Saturday and Sunday to ourselves to catch up. That 'catch up' was in quotation marks, by the way," she commented.

"Damn, Miranda. Sorry."

"No, I guess it's okay." She sighed deeply. "How can I be mad when you're off doing your _thang_?"

He chuckled. "See, I'm glad you get it. I'm glad you're my wife."

"I'm so proud of you, babe," she said earnestly. "What kind of procedure?"

"I think appendectomy."

"Oh well, you are talking to the queen. Lay it on me. I wish I could be there."

"Shit, maybe you should come out here this weekend and then you can see me in action."

"That's actually not a bad idea."

"Really?" Ben asked, he'd suggested the idea of her coming to L.A. several times and she'd turned him down nearly every time.

"Yep. And then maybe we can finish what we started earlier."

"I would definitely be down for that."

"Good. I will see you in a few days."

"I can't wait, Miranda," he said genuinely. "You're finally going to see our apartment."

"'Our'?"

"Yeah, we're married, it's ours," he said.

"You know what? I'm done with you, boy. Go to sleep."

"Wait, wait, wait—wait a daggone minute."

"What, Benjamin?"

He groaned lowly. "The panties, baby. The panties."


	8. All I Do

**All I Do**

 _My flight will be landing in three hours_ , Ben texted Miranda. _I will see you soon._ He turned off his phone as the plane started to take off. When he got to Seattle, he turned it back on and saw that he had a message from Miranda wanting to meet at the hospital. He bought her some flowers and caught a cab over to Seattle Grace-Mercy West. He called her and she said that he should wait in the lobby. He waited for her. He kept his eyes on the elevator and stood up when she stepped off of it. He rushed to her and put his arms around her. "Mmmm, I have missed hugging you," he told her. She responded by kissing his cheek. "These are for you." He handed her the flowers.

"Thank you, honey." Ben hugged her again. "How much time do you have this time?"

"A whole freaking day. I'm all yours."

After picking Tuck up, the three of them ordered pizza and watched a movie. Tuck sat between them and halfway through the movie, he fell asleep. Ben picked him up and took him to his room. "I'm so tired, babe," Miranda said.

"Want me to carry you to your room?" He asked while wiggling his eyebrows comically. He turned off the TV. There was no need to pretend to watch anymore. Miranda laughed and shook her head. "I'm exhausted, too. I never get much rest before I travel."

"Why's that?" He frowned. "Don't tell me you're so anxious to get home that you can't sleep."

"I'm always so anxious that I can never get to sleep," he repeated.

"You're kidding?"

"Nope," he said. "I'm a thousand miles away and you guys are living here and you have your own things and I'm over there with my own thing so I'm just… I always worry that I won't fit into your new lives. Like we're starting over every time."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it's ridiculous, but it's one of those things."

"No, no, I get it. That's how I felt going out to Cali and meeting your friends—it was nerve-wrecking."

They smiled at each other. Ben was trapped. Her smile would always hold him captive. She blinked slowly. "Is everything going okay here?" He pushed some hair out of her face. "I mean you would tell me, right?" She nodded. "My girl. So?"

"We're good. I know you have my back. I'm happy." He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her softly. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, turning him on. "Are you happy?"

"Are you kidding? I'm more than happy—whatever that is."

She pushed him back and touched his waist. He exhaled. "I have missed you on this sofa."

"Show me," he demanded. His body reacted to her facial expression of being surprised and aroused at the same time. His body craved hers. His hands slipped underneath her shirt, finding her breasts. Miranda cried out with pleasure. Ben pulled her on his lap and massaged her back while lifting his hips and kissing her neck.

"Mommy?" A small voice called into the silence.

"Y-yes, baby?" Miranda answered. She got off of his lap, but Ben didn't drop his hands.

"Can I have some water?"

"Yes, of course," she said going into the kitchen. Ben dropped his head.

"Ben?" Tuck said from the top of the stairs.

Ben stood up and went to the bottom of the staircase. "Yeah, bud?"

"You're still here!" He shouted happily.

"Yep!" Ben said. He walked up the stairs and sat on the top step. "I won't leave this time without saying goodbye."

"I don't like it when you do that," Tuck said sitting down next to Ben. "Mommy doesn't like it either."

"Really?"

"Yes. Sometimes she curses." Ben and Tuck laughed. The stepfather put his arm around his stepson.

"Alright, snitch, go to bed. I love you." Miranda tossed a small bottle up the stairs and Ben caught it. He handed it to Tuck. The seven-year-old hugged him and ran into his room. "Are you coming back down or what?"

Ben slid down a step. "We could meet in the middle."

Miranda shook her head and headed back to the living room. Ben bounded down the steps and grabbed her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. "I miss you," she said quietly as she pulled him back to the sofa. Ben dropped to his knees and pushed her legs apart.

"I've missed you, too."


	9. You Can Have LA

**You Can Have L.A.**

 _Beeeep!_ "Hey, baby, okay, so I'm not panicking or anything, but this is my sixth call and third voicemail and I've sent you at least nine text messages and there has been no response. If, uh, you don't want me to get on a plane right now or… or… or call the police, call me back in the next hour. I love you," he said vehemently into the phone. "Bye."

He checked his phone's call log. There was no incoming or missed call from Miranda in almost two days. That was so unlike her. She was like clockwork. Everything in the world could be a mess and be bassackwards, but she was his constant. Where was she? He got paged by his attending and somehow he managed to focus on the details of his patients and push his absentee wife to the back. He rushed around the hospital following his attending and the other interns. He kept his hand on his phone waiting for it to buzz. When the day was over, he called her cell phone as he changed and packed up his stuff. He had some more disappointing news—which is why he'd been trying to get in touch with her. This was another weekend he was going to have to skip. He wasn't going to be able to make it to Seattle. He had too much to do. Ever since his solo surgery, all of the other interns had been stepping up their games. He was stressing out lately and he really needed to talk to Miranda. The phone had been ringing for thirty seconds and he was about ready to leave a fourth message when she picked up. _Finally_. "Miranda?" He said exasperatedly.

"Yes, sweetheart?" She said sweetly, but it wasn't authentic, he could tell.

"'Yes, sweetheart'," he repeated. "Where have you been?"

"I've been here."

"Damn, Miranda, you know what I mean."

"I know, I know. And I know that I haven't returned your calls or m-messages, baby, but… everything is perfect," she stuttered. "There were just… traumas everywhere. What you call 'hot mess art'." She laughed. "And, see? I'm answering your calls now. It's mellow now."

Ben took a deep breath. Something was wrong. He didn't know if he should panic or not, but he just waited. Miranda would tell him if he held out long enough. "Perfect?"

"Yes, perfect." He licked his bottom lip. She never said everything was perfect: _if you're not here, it can't be perfect_ , he remembered her saying. Even though he tried to debate her, she wouldn't hear of it. "Am I going to see you this weekend?" Miranda said rushing the question.

"Um, no, actually, that's what I was calling to tell you."

"You're not coming?"

"No, so don't be mad, okay? I will see you sometime…," he checked the calendar on his phone. "I guess early next month."

"Oh, good. Early next month. That's good. Good. I'm… we'll be waiting for you; me and Tuck." He heard someone talking in the background. "I think I have to go."

"No, wait a second," Ben said. "I finally got you on the phone. And you're hanging up?"

"I have to go."

"You didn't even…"

"What?!"

"You didn't even complain that I wouldn't be home this weekend." He blushed saying it.

"Oh! So you want me to make a big deal about you not coming home—again?"

"Miranda?"

"What?" She snapped. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me what's going on." He heard more talking and Miranda exchanged words with someone. The background conversation stopped. "Miranda?"

"Yes, my love!"

"Baby, talk to me."

"I'm talking, Ben."

"Do I need to come to you? I feel like something's up." She didn't answer. "Screw this schedule, I'm coming to Seattle."

"No, no, no. You can't do that," she said hurriedly. "I mean, you don't have to do that."

"And why not?"

Miranda paused a second and he wanted to tell her to forget it. Arguing wasn't what he had in mind when he made this phone call. He just wanted to make sure that she was okay. That Tuck was okay. "Because you need to be on your A-game. I know every other intern is gunning for you. As they should," she laughed a real laugh and Ben relaxed a little. Maybe he was overreacting. "Baby, we're fine. I promise."

Ben smiled. "Okay."

"Okay."

"So how's soccer going for my boy?"

"He loves it. He's the starting goalie. He has very quick hands."

"Like his momma."

"Hush!" Miranda said and he knew that she was smiling. What had he been so pressed about? "Now, I really have to go this time, okay?"

"Fine, but answer my calls and messages please. You know I get worried about you."

"I know, sweetheart. I know, but…"

"I got it. Y'all are… 'perfect'." He gritted his teeth.

"Exactly," she said with a small laugh. "I love you."

"I… I…," Ben stammered. He took a deep breath. "I love you, too, babe."

Ben hung up the phone reluctantly. He reached into the fridge and got a beer. He went into his room, rolled in the bed and tried to feel better about the conversation he'd just had with his wife. But her 'perfect' had unnerved him. On his back, he looked up at his ceiling. An hour later, he had dozed off a couple of times without getting any real rest. His phone rang loudly. He answered quickly seeing that it was Miranda. He listened and waited for her to say something. With her silence, he spoke first, turning the ring on his finger: "Baby, listen, I know I pried earlier. And, look, I'm sorry." No answer, but he could hear her breathing softly. "I just get so… I agonize over you two all of the time. I love you so much. You're my family. I'm so in love with you. I get carried away. You're my forever." She still hadn't answered. "Miranda?"

"I'm here."

"Good."

"I'll see you in two weekends."

"Yeah, two weekends," she echoed.


	10. Sunday Morning

**Sunday Morning**

A week later, Ben Warren sat alone in the hospital's cafeteria procuring a table for his work colleagues. Several minutes later, he was surrounded by colleagues, friends. The men and women laughed loudly while shoving food into their mouths. Ben's phone buzzed. He saw a Seattle number and smiled widely. "Must be the wife," Jonah said. "Tell wifey I said 'hello'!" Everyone howled.

"Ben Warren, here," he said answering the phone. He walked into an empty stairwell.

"Warren!" A male voice said robustly. He knew that voice well. It was Richard Webber, Chief of what was now Grey Sloan Memorial and Miranda's mentor. The man was like a father to Miranda and he treated Miranda and Ben, like they were his own. "It's Richard. Webber."

"Richard, yeah, uh, how are you?" The older man took a beat. And Ben's heart jumped. "What's going on?"

"Why haven't you come back to Seattle?"

"I've been working hard trying to become a great surgeon," Ben replied slowly.

Richard replied sternly: "I know that."

"Bailey hasn't talked to you?"

"About what?"

"So you don't know." Richard huffed. "You hadn't been here in a couple of weeks and I thought you just couldn't possibly get away, but now I know that you just didn't know."

"Know what?" Ben asked rushing the man. His slow cadence was driving him crazy. "What didn't she tell me?"

"There was a situation…" Richard began to tell him of how Miranda had incidentally infected three patients with a staph bacteria. She'd been a carrier of MRSA and through no fault of her own, those three patients were now deceased. Ben's chest tightened as Richard spoke. His wife had been in pain, physical and emotional pain and he hadn't been there. Hadn't known to be there. "They had to isolate her to contain the infection."

"What!"

"She's been cleared. She has been cleared, but it was a whole big thing—"

"Sir, I need to talk to her. Put her on the phone," Ben said firmly. "Please."

"That's why I'm calling. She's not… she won't…"

"Spit it out!"

"Bailey is in her lab and she won't come out. We've begged and knocked and called, but she's locked herself in there."

"How long has this been going on?"

"A few days."

"I mean, this whole thing?"

"About two weeks."

"Why didn't you call me as soon as it happened?!"

"Well, I assumed she'd said something—anything—to you," Richard responded calmly. And Ben appreciated it. He'd seen and heard the man go off before and now wasn't the time for them to point fingers or place any blame.

Ben sat at the top of the stairs. His head was hurting and his eyes were burning. "I knew something was wrong, but she said… she said everything was… how did I miss it?"

"I know, son. I know. You didn't know." Ben said nothing. He felt like a failure. There wasn't anything for him to say. "I'm sorry this call is so late, but I tried to give her space and time, now I'm downright worried." Ben nodded like the man was in front of him. "Just come," Richard said.

"I'm on my way."


	11. Until You Come Back to Me

**Until You Come Back to Me**

Ben texted and emailed his superiors as he made his way out of the hospital, blowing by a concerned-looking Jonah. His mind was going one million miles an hour as he drove, ordering a plane ticket at the red lights that stopped him on his way home. He had less than two hours before his flight took off. He grabbed his shoulder bag and filled it with random stuff. He stuck his phone charger in the front pocket and headed out of the door. He called Miranda. As he suspected, she didn't answer. He sent her a quick text message as he left her a voicemail: _I am… on my way home. I can't wait to see you. I love you, baby. You know that, right? I love you._ On the plane, he thought about how he would approach her. One thing he never wanted to do was piss her off or make her retreat deeper inside of herself. And if she was locked inside of her lab, she must have felt defenseless. He yawned, he was so exhausted. He fell asleep for the short flight. Off the plane, he rushed to the taxi stand and hopped in the first available car. Getting to the hospital, he headed straight for her genome lab, hustling through the hallways trying not to bump into anyone or knock anything down. Standing outside of the door was Richard Webber. "Hey," he said jogging toward the man who was looking through the small window.

Richard turned to him, his face solemn. They shook hands. "You made the flight?"

"Just barely," Ben admitted. "Thanks for the call."

"She needs you," Richard told Ben. They looked at each other for a short time before the older man walked off. Ben moved into the now vacant spot and stared through the window. Through it, he could see Miranda sitting at a long desk. He said a quiet and quick prayer before he knocked on the door. Three times. He watched her stop working for a second, probably thinking that it was someone else, anyone else. She put her head down and went back to what she was doing. What was it that she was doing?

"Miranda." Hearing her name from his lips made her pick her head up again. His face twitched. She had that same power over him. "Open the door," he demanded. Ben watched his wife turn in her chair and saunter to the door. There was no smile, no rush—nothing that signaled that everything was okay. Miranda opened the door, allowing him more than enough room to get in. "I got on a plane as soon as I heard."

"Who called you?" She asked softly, pushing back some hair.

"Doesn't matter," he answered stepping inside of the room and taking a quick look around.

"Yeah, it does. Your intern exams are coming up soon." Somehow he'd forgotten all about them. The last few hours had his mind warped.

Ben put his bag down and looked at her. She looked so vulnerable; even more so than when she'd asked him to promise that their relationship was going to be okay. And he'd made that promise and kept it. "And I'm your husband." Miranda let go of her breath and her shoulders dropped. "Being there for you is my main job now. There's no need to keep doing things by yourself anymore." He stared at her. Usually, she was the one making him feel better especially during his intern year. It had been so stressful and adding marriage on top of it was like a cherry on a really odd, but delicious sundae. Miranda's face was so sad. He touched her arms and hugged her. "Come here." Ben wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. He kissed the top of her head softly. "This wasn't your fault."

"Yeah. Yeah, it was my fault," she told him pulling herself from him. The warmth he'd just felt a minute ago was gone.

"No, you were cleared." He placed his hands on his waist, giving her space.

"No, it was my infection. I put my hands in those patients, and they died. I operated on them and they died. A son and a mother and a… and a teacher. I knew their families. And they all died because of me. Now they want me to go back in an OR. I mean, they… they say that it doesn't happen again, but nobody knows that." She brushed past him slowly and pointed to the desk she'd been sitting at. He turned and he looked to where she was pointing. There were four long rows of Petri dishes. Each was labeled with her name and the date and a number. Ben felt the hairs on his arms stand up.

"I-I've been, um, testing myself and, uh, testing myself and testing myself. But it doesn't go away—the, um, feeling. I f-feel so dirty." With her back to him, he let go of the breath he'd been holding and inhaled another. "Just all the time. So dirty." He slid his arms around her body and found her hands. Miranda reacted immediately. "No." She pulled away again and turned around to face him. The redness in her eyes accompanied the tear stains on her cheeks. "They all died because of me."

"No," Ben said reaching for her.

"They died." She said holding up the hands, the ones that had failed her.

"No. no." He whispered, fearing that his voice would break and betray him. Through her sobbing, Miranda fought his grip, but he held on tight, rubbing her back. He didn't want to give her any more space; she'd had enough time to deal with everything on her own. Ben kissed his wife's forehead and she pushed her face into his chest, her sobs turning to a soft wail. "Shhhh." They rocked together in the dark room. Ben inhaled Miranda, happy to be home and holding her and squeezing her body, but understandably sad about the situation, hating what she was going through. "It's not your fault." Ben heard the door close softly and was grateful to whoever gave them immediate privacy. He stroked her hair. "It's… going to be okay." He hoped he was right.


	12. I'm Okay

**Here We Go**

Proactive Ben had already texted Tucker and asked him to pick up Tuck from school and asked him to keep him for the weekend. He didn't go into much detail, but he gave Tucker just enough for him to understand that it was serious. Perplexed Ben was stuck between trying to be there for his wife and also giving her the space she needed to heal. It had been a few days since he'd gotten into town. Miranda wasn't ready to go back to work and he didn't exactly have a timeline on when it was acceptable to leave your wife when she was hurting. He emailed both the Director of the Residency program and his Chief Resident and let them know that he needed to take a leave of absence. He mentioned it briefly to Miranda before he sent the letter. "Unh-uh," she said as he composed a new email.

"What 'unh-uh'?" He smirked.

"You can't just stop your residency."

"I'm not stopping my residency, Miranda," he argued as he copied and pasted bits of the letter he'd been working on. "I'm putting it on pause."

"Why?" They were lying in bed. He was on his back and she was turned toward him with her eyes on the TV screen; it flashed silently. There was supposed to be a huge storm in a couple of days and everyone was being advised to get supplies.

"Because I need to be here… with you."

"Why?"

He sent the message and placed his phone on the nightstand and turned on his side. They were face to face. "Hi," he said kissing her chin.

"Hello," she said closing her eyes as her hands slinked up his back.

"Turning me on will get you everywhere," he told her.

She smiled widely. _Damn_ , he thought. She was gorgeous when she smiled. He moved closer to her and put his hands on her hips. "No, no, no."

"What, baby?"

"I can't let you do it."

"I already sent it."

"It's done?" She asked deflated.

He nodded. "I'm doing it for us, babe. I'll go back when I feel like you're well and healed." He rubbed his beard against her cheek. She started to debate. "Let me do this." Miranda rolled her eyes; she was conceding. Ben kissed her neck and grabbed her hips and slid his hands up and down her body. He felt her relax. "So how are you?"

"Tired of people asking me that question."

"We just…"

"I know, but I'm devastated." She shrugged and turned away from him. He growled softly. "Thank you for being here."

"You're my wife; you don't have to thank me."

She took a deep breath. "I appreciate you being here. I feel better… with you around."

"I know."

"But I don't want you to jeopardize your career for something miniscule."

Ben climbed over her and stared her in the eyes. "This is important. This is me being here for you because you're hurting. I want to be here. And you promised me you wouldn't do… what you did."

"What?"

"You promised that you wouldn't keep me in the dark about stuff."

She smiled. "I'm still learning how to lean on you." Miranda's eyes started watering. "Sometimes I feel okay. Then I remember those patients and their families and then I'm not." She exhaled and tears fell from her eyes. Ben wanted to wipe them away, but he didn't want Miranda to think she should be embarrassed by them. Her pain was real. "And I feel awful." Ben didn't respond right away. He got behind her and just held her, feeling her body rise and fall against his with each breath. He kept his eyes open, staying silent for a long time. "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Are you?"

"Yes."

"What are you thinking about?" She asked.

"Why didn't you tell me, Miranda?" He slid his fingers between hers. "You should have called me."

"I know."

"You were here in pain and I knew nothing about it."

"I thought I could handle it… you know?"

"I suppose." She pushed her body deeper into his. He closed his eyes and groaned under his breath. "I just wish that you trusted me enough to tell me." Miranda made a faint noise. Ben cursed.

"What?"

"I'm really mad at myself."

"What'd you do? You didn't do anything."

"I knew _something_ was up, but I guess I ignored it."

"I don't follow."

"You said that everything was 'perfect' and I figured that everything was going well here and that you didn't really need me."

"I always need you, baby," she said turning around to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." She touched his chin and pulled his face to her, kissing him slowly and softly.

"Maybe I should..."

"Should what?"

"Come back home."

Miranda sat up quickly, making Ben switch positions as well. She was squinting at him, peering into his soul. He reached for her hands and she moved away from him. "What?"

"So you're going to quit?"

"I wouldn't be quitting. Shoot, you ain't marry no quitter." Miranda grinned slightly, but she quickly wiped it away. "I'd be… I don't know coming back to make sure you're really okay."

She closed her eyes. "I'm fine."

"She said for the thousandth time," Ben muttered under his breath.

"I am. Truly."

"You haven't done any surgery since it happened."

"So?"

"So that means you're not one hundred percent." He scratched his head and then put his arm around her. "Look, surgery is your calling, your passion and you're running from it." Miranda bit her bottom lip. "And I can understand why. What happened was big and stressing and, babe, all I'm saying is that…" He sighed. "I want to be here for you. And why are you acting like it's such a big deal? Like my response is wrong." Miranda gave him a weak smile; she wasn't convinced. "But who knows? Maybe I could even be, I don't know, a-a-an intern at Grey Sloan."

"There are no more spots available in this class."

"And—"

"No." He ran a hand down his face and was patient. "I've gone through this before with Tucker. He agreed to stay at home with Tuck, but a few months in and he was bitching and moaning. I don't want that to happen to us. If you leave your residency and come back home, you will resent and blame me. _I_ will blame me. I can't have that." Miranda spoke firmly and honestly.

A lump formed in his throat. Ben tightened his hold on her. "I'm not Tucker. I want to help you." She nodded.

"I'm better, Ben, and let's just leave it at that."

"Okay, well, Miranda, I'm just throwing ideas out."

"Stupid ones," she said slinking back down into the bed.

"That's rude."

"You're rude," Miranda responded.

"Come here." He slid behind her and held her body against his. He kissed between her shoulder blades; she exhaled softly, her body relaxing.

"I'm sorry, Ben," Miranda said speaking in a hushed tone.

"For what, baby?" He grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips.

"For making you think that leaving L.A. was an option."

"S'okay."

"No, you worked hard to get in the program and I want you to succeed, baby. I want you to do your best."

"And I am."

"Good."

"But I want you to remember something."

Miranda put her hand behind her and touched him, running her nails over his head. "What's that?"

"Turn around." When they were once again face to face, he kissed her quickly. "We're married now. We have to work through things together."

"I know."

"You're not alone in this or in anything."

"Okay, Benjamin." Miranda looked up at him and smiled. His heart leapt. He'd never understand how she managed to make him melt. They kissed again and Ben felt his shirt being pushed up, the hairs on his body stood up.

He touched her arms. "You're sure?" She nodded. He grinned.

"I love you, baby," his wife whispered onto his neck. He jumped and kissed her hard, pushing his tongue deeper inside of her mouth.

"I love you, too." After they finished making love, Ben dropped his head at the foot of the bed, opposite Miranda. He put his face against her legs, kissing her.

"Don't you start anything you can't finish now," she warned.

"I have an idea," he said.

"I hope it's better than your other one."

"Harsh, but it is."

They laughed together. "Let me hear it."

"What if you came down to Cali with me? Just for a couple of days, a week—just to get some fresh air." When she didn't answer right away, he started to retract his offer and thought about blaming it on his sexual high.

"Okay."

"Miran…," he said agitated, sure that she'd just turned him down. "W-wait. 'Okay'?"

Miranda laughed and moved in his direction. She got behind him and held his stomach. "I think it's a good idea."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing."

"Don't push it, Benjamin Warren." Husband and wife laughed, shaking the bed. He pulled the comforter up and they wrapped themselves in it. "There's a storm coming. It wouldn't hurt to go and clear my mind and experience some sunshine." She placed her lips on his back and he closed his eyes. She kissed his naked back again.

Ben shuddered. "Unh-uh, don't _you_ start something you can't finish."

"Don't worry, I can finish," Miranda said in a soft, raspy voice. "And you'll help me."

"So we're doing this?" Ben asked taking her hands in his. He turned around and climbed on top of her. His heart was beating so quickly.

"Oh, we are doing this," she said excitedly.


	13. Be Prepared

**Be Prepared**

"You don't have to go back to work if you're not ready," Ben said sitting on the edge of the bed. He watched Miranda pack up her bag.

"A storm is hours away," she explained. "They need all hands on deck."

"What about you coming with me to L.A.?"

"The storm is too close—they're not even going to let us fly out."

He sighed. "Well, after?"

"Ben, I have to go; I can't talk about that right now."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"You don't have to come. You don't have to wife-sit me." He blushed; that's exactly what he'd planned to do. "I'll be fine." She walked toward him and put her hand on his cheek.

"I know you'll be fine, but if it's all hands, I have hands." They laughed. Ben stood up and started to walk away. He paused and leaned down and kissed Miranda's cheek.

The storm that was supposedly a few days away was getting closer and more threatening by the hour. They dropped Tuck off at Tucker's house and headed to the hospital. "Are you sure you're up for it, Miranda?"

"I am. Maybe not for surgery, but I don't know." He nodded and made a turn onto the highway.

"Don't force yourself to do something you're not ready to, sweetheart."

She touched his hand: "I won't. I just feel like helping—a call to action if you will."

They arrived just in time for the meeting about prepping the patients and building for the storm. Owen Hunt, the Head of Trauma, was speaking to the nurses, techs and surgeons. Ben stood at the back and leaned against the wall. A few seconds later, he was joined by Richard Webber. "Most importantly, we're gonna need to print hard copies of all computerized patient charts in case of a power loss."

Jackson Avery, Ben's former running buddy, piped up: "All of them? Do we have time to—?"

"I'll do that." Miranda's voice cut through the soft hum of the large crowd. Ben looked over the heads in the bunch and immediately recognized her purple jacket. All heads turned in her direction. Ben's body tensed—he knew people would start gossiping and it pissed him off.

"Bailey, it's good to have you back," Owen said quickly. "I'll put you on the OR rotation."

"Uh, I mean… I'll do the charts," she answered and walked away. Miranda moved past Richard and Ben. Ben tried to get her attention, but she kept going.

When the meeting was over, Webber turned to him: "How's she doing?"

"She feels like she can't go into an OR. She thinks she'll kill anyone she touches. I tried to convince her to come down to L.A. with me, take some time off, but then we heard about the storm and she said she had to stay and help."

"Anything I can do?"

"I wish there was, but honestly…" Ben's voice trailed off. Richard had done so much for them, he was ashamed to finish the sentence. Luckily, he didn't have to.

"Anyone but me." They both offered weak smiles to the other. "I know," Richard said and he walked away.

Ben walked through the halls and found Miranda sitting in a lounge. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" She said standing up and pulling on her white coat. She was so sexy with it on and she knew it. "Want to help me with the files?"

He scoffed. "No, do I look like an intern to you?"

She made a face. "Yes."

"Well, in Cali I am, but here at Grey Sloan, I am an attending anesthesiologist."

"I love when you pretend to take charge," she said standing up. He grunted in a low voice. "I suppose you'd better go find some scrubs."

"I will."

"God, I love the way they look on you." Miranda winked at him and his heart fluttered. He could go with that; the dark blue scrubs looked so good on his dark skin. He often joked to Miranda the scrubs were the only reason she'd noticed him.

"And what are you going to be doing?"

"Uhh, paperwork and I need to make sure the ORs have enough surplus blood."

"My lady is always so prepared," Ben said tugging on her lab coat and kissing her cheek.

After finding scrubs, Ben rushed past the scheduling board on his way to find Miranda. His eyes scanned the board and he saw Miranda's name on it. _She's performing surgery?_ "She's doing surgery?" He said to himself.

"She's doing surgery," Richard repeated behind him. The two men smiled.

Ben saw the name of his best friend and former co-worker, Knox, as the anesthesiologist. He texted him and asked him to switch. The surgery was supposed to start in ten minutes, he hurried to OR 3.

"This guy was cleaning his gutters in hurricane-force winds," a chatty intern, Shane Ross, said filling him on the details of the patient. "It's like he wanted to spend the night on an OR table." Ben furrowed his brows. "Not that I'm complaining."

"You're awfully excited about another man's misfortunes," Ben told the young man.

The intern sputtered. "No, I just meant—I'm glad Dr. Baileys getting back into an OR."

"Yeah, so am I," Ben agreed smiling. He looked at Miranda getting prepped. She took a small step toward the table and he could read her entire face beneath her mask. She wasn't going through with it. It was too soon. He blamed himself. They should be in their apartment in California, not stuck in a storm in a hospital where they'd lose power soon because the lights kept flickering; he wondered if the generators had enough juice to keep the hospital functioning properly.

"Mm. I can't do this," she said pulling off her surgical gown.

"Miranda…" She left the room without answering him. He sighed heavily, ignoring the look from the intern. Ben ripped off his face mask and ran after her. "Miranda!"

He followed her into her office. "I can't… I c-can't do this!" She said closing her eyes and sitting down.

"Of course you can, baby," Ben said taking a small step toward her. "You're just not ready."

"I am!"

His voice was calm. "You're not. And you need to stop rushing it."

Miranda turned away from him in the chair. He walked over to her and pulled her out of the chair. He touched her hips. His wife put her arms around him and collapsed into his arms. "Hey, not being ready doesn't mean you're weak or lacking." He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it a little. "Time. That's what you need. Or inspiration. But mostly time."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm not ready."

"And that's okay."

His phone buzzed. "I have to go." She nodded. "Why don't you finish doing your blood thing and then when I'm finished, we can find an on-call room to relax in."

"Sounds like a plan," Miranda answered with a deep sigh.

"Good," he said while kissing her forehead. "I'll see you later, yeah?" She nodded and he dashed out of the door.


	14. Keep Me in Mind

**Keep Me in Mind**

"She did what?" Ben asked one of friends and current interns at Grey Sloan, Stephanie Edwards. She repeated herself excitedly. Ben thanked her and rushed off to find Miranda. Apparently, she'd performed emergency surgery on another attending, Meredith Grey, who'd just given birth. He waited at a busy intersection of the hallway that he knew she was bound to pass. He saw her hurry down a hall and he had to run to catch up with her. "Hey. I heard what you did." He put his hand on her shoulder as she walked. "I couldn't be more impressed." She smiled, but kept going, not answering. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," he finally stopped her by grabbing her arm gently. "Are you—are you all right?"

"Y—I need to talk to Richard," she said energetically. Ben stroked her hand and stared into her eyes. She looked a lot better. And she was so beautiful with her hair pulled back. A small lock of hair was falling on her forehead. Even a little sweaty, she was gorgeous. "Look, he… he came to me. He tried to help me, and I called him a drunk. I-I blamed him." Miranda put her head down. "I turned on him. Of all people, _that_ man—"

"Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's okay." He touched her shoulders, squeezing her a little. "He knows you, better than you think. Maybe you owe him an apology," Ben suggested.

"No, I owe him everything." Ben pulled his wife closer and looked deeper into her brown eyes. She put her hands on his stomach. "Now do you know where he is?"

"We were in surgery together. I think he was going to the basement…" Ben looked over Miranda's head and saw the older gentleman strolling toward a stairwell. "Hey, Richard!"


	15. This Love is Forever

**This Love is Forever**

"I can stay another day or two," Ben said as they drove to the airport with Tuck asleep in the backseat.

"Not necessary."

"Promise me," he said looking over at her.

Miranda kept her eyes on the road until they came to a red light. "I promise."

He touched her chin, "Okay."

At the airport, Ben got out and pulled his bags from the trunk. "This car needs to move immediately," one of the workers from the airport said to them.

"Mmmhmm, right away," Miranda said giving the man a look. Ben smirked. He knew that look. "Give me a hug, husband!"

He wrapped his arms around her, taking in her scent and wanting to remember this moment until the next time he saw her. "I'm going to miss you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"You know what? Fine. I'm leaving." Ben turned and grabbed the handle of his bag. He felt Miranda touch his waist and he smiled. "Unh-huh. Kiss me." He put his face an inch from hers and waited for her to close the gap. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his and his body shook slightly. He eased his tongue into her mouth and rubbed her back. When she pulled away, a few tears were rolling down her face. "It's okay. I'll be back."

"I miss you already, babe," she said as he wiped away her tears. He didn't like when she cried, although he appreciated that she was doing it because she didn't want him to leave. He didn't want to either, but L.A. was calling him. His dream was waiting. He just hoped that his wife would be good without him. He wouldn't bug her though; he'd let her do her own thing—only interfering if he needed to.

"I miss you, too." They kissed again. "Tell little man that I'll call him and that I love him. And I will be back for Halloween."

"Your favorite holiday." Miranda smiled widely. Ben's heart skipped. She had an effect on him and he'd never deny it.

"Okay, I have to go." She stood there and pouted a little and he smiled. "You have to get in the car and go or I won't get on the plane." They held each other, swaying on the sidewalk for a few seconds before she pulled away without looking back. He appreciated that. He fell asleep almost immediately as he made his way back to his second home. He called Miranda as soon as he walked into his empty and chilly apartment. The squeaky voice of Tuck greeted him as the ringing stopped. "Hey, Ben!"

"Tuck! My guy!" Ben said with a bright smile. He sat on his sofa. The boy giggled and said something incomprehensible, speaking quickly. His stepfather pretended to keep up while only understanding every other thought or question.

"Mommy wants to talk to you," Tuck said.

"Okay. I'll talk to you soon, Tuck," Ben replied sincerely. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Tuck said. Ben heard the phone exchange hands.

"Hello?" Miranda answered.

Ben sank deeper into his sofa. "Hi, baby."

The way he was missing her, most would never know that he'd left home only hours before. He imagined that if he was back at home, they would be cuddled up in front of the TV with Tuck playing with his toys next to them. A wave of sadness hit him. "Ben? Did you hear me?"

"No, not at all," he admitted. "What did you say?"

"I said that it was good to have you home for a while and not just for a rushed trip." Her voice was soft.

"Yeah, the circumstances weren't ideal, but I was reminded of the pros of being in Seattle."

"Like what?"

"Seeing you every day, playing with Tuck, holding you, kissing your neck—"

"Slow your roll. My child is right beside me," Miranda said with a loud laugh. They stayed on the phone for a long time. It was the moments like this when being away from his wife and kid wasn't so bad. They loved him and were only a phone call away. Ben settled into the left side of the bed, leaving the right side unoccupied. "You need to go to sleep."

"I know, but I love talking to you."

"I also need you to love being a surgeon."

"I do."

"Not as much as you love me, right?"

"There's no competition. I adore you." He imagined her blushing hard.

"I adore you, too," she said. "Go to bed."

"Yes, ma'am." After they dismissed the call, Ben stayed up, watching the TV screen, not processing anything. Miranda wasn't usually wrong about certain things, but she was wrong that he would resent her if he moved back home. He wouldn't. He could find a closer residency; he could even go back to Anesthesiology—as long as his family was fine. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make; especially after a traumatic incident like the one that Miranda had gone through. He opened his laptop to compose a new email. He addressed it to the director of UCLA's residency program. Then, he paused. Miranda seemed better, a lot better. Maybe she didn't need him to be there. Maybe his presence was just an added bonus to the healing process. The blinking line on the screen waited for his next move. He pulled his lips in. He could have almost believed that except that she'd kept her pain and feelings inside until he'd shown up. And there was so much healing to do. She would struggle and he needed to be there to help her; to remind her that she wasn't alone. Ben scratched his beard and knew that the one person he was doing it for would be pissed. She wouldn't understand. But this decision didn't require her to. He just needed her support, the same support that he was willing to give her. He took a deep breath and started the short email to the director, requesting an immediate meeting, typing slowly and deliberately, thinking about the consequences of what he was doing. The conversation that he was soon to have was going to change the course of his entire career. But it was worth it. Miranda Bailey was so worth it. He just hoped that she would have faith in him and not be completely disappointed. He loved being in L.A. becoming a surgeon, but he would never forgive himself if he prioritized it over his family. They were so important to him; so he would do this and she wouldn't appreciate it right away, but she would get it… eventually. And he could always continue becoming a surgeon, but if he screwed up his marriage, there was no coming back from that. The only way they could survive what was on the horizon is if they were together. She needed him and though it didn't seem like it, he needed her as well. Their love was forever. He smiled at the thought. "Send."

-The End


End file.
